My three year-old will be embarking on pre-school in just a few weeks. This will be the beginning of a new chapter in her (and my) life. There will be a side to her that I will not be a part of. She will make new friends and build new relationships. This will inevitably mean hanging out with these friends at their houses. Aside from the usual nervousness every parent feels when their first born starts to ease her way out of the comfort and safety of the nest, I struggle with how to handle the food situation.
I am constantly amazed at the types of food that parents serve their children and friends who are over to play. When I think back to my own childhood, it was the same way - sweets, goldfish crackers, popsicles, candy, juice boxes, cookies, etc. But now that I have educated myself on the true impact of what we eat, those items are RARELY found in my house. Juice is a treat. Fruit or veggies are snacks. Is it hot outside? Cool off with some frozen grapes or cherries - not a fudgsicle!
Not to mention the overwhelming presence of fast food given to young children. I see the same parents with their drive-thru snacks/lunches for their kids at the park every week! People meet up for a playdate and bring fast food chicken nuggets to hand out to the kids. YUCK! I hate for my daughter to eat these processed (I hesitate to even call them "food") foods, but I don't want her to be an outcast. Also, I don't want to shelter her to the point of an all out junk-food binge once she is more independent.
She actually had her first fast-food item just last week because I felt guilty. A friend came to our house with her daughter to play. She had brought Chick-fil-a nuggets with her for everyone to eat. I, being a vegetarian, (unbeknownst to her) had to refuse. But what about my daughter who does occasionally eat meat? Wouldn't it be rude for me to have both of us politely refuse the snack an invited guest brought to my house? Because of that sense of polite obligation, I allowed my daughter to eat it. I hated every second of it. I pride myself on the fact that we had not succumbed to feeding her from a drive-thru for her entire 3 1/2 year life. Did I make the wrong call? Was I terrible for going against my values for the sake of cordiality?
I struggle enough with telling my new friends that I am a vegetarian. I don't want hosts to go out of their way for my own choice. I certainly don't want them to think I look down on them for eating meat. My husband and entire extended family are omnivores! How do I handle it when it isn't even my friend? It is the parent of my daughter's friend. "Hi! Nice to meet you! Please don't feed my daughter junk food." People are free to make their own choices. I know there are choices I make regarding the upbringing of my children that other parents would disagree with - and I'm OK with that. I am doing the best I can.
I almost feel like it's ingrained in people's heads that having kids and their friends over means having the typical, unhealthy snack foods at the ready. I'll admit, even I began to feel pressure to get some since so many of my daughter's peers had those processed snack foods at their houses. I almost felt unprepared for having kids over! I started questioning myself and thinking we had to get "kid-friendly" foods like juice boxes, ice pops, fruit snacks, crackers, and frozen pizza rolls. I don't want my daughter's friends to not want to come over because we don't have these snacks in our house.
So how do I let other parents know about the dietary expectations I have for my family? Should I just let it go and let her eat whatever other parents provide? I know she will always get healthy food at home. Is that all I can hope for? How much exposure to junk food is needed to avoid all-out binging in the future? I don't have the answers to these questions yet. What are your thoughts? What other dilemmas have you faced raising children or making healthy choices for yourself?
